We often miss what is right in front of our faces.

Allow me to summarize:

The disciples try to cast out a demon, and epically fail. Jesus saves the day.

The disciples argue about which one of them is the most awesome (“Who did the best job at not casting out that demon?”). Jesus gently corrects them.

The disciples (perhaps not so gently) correct a guy who is successfully casting out demons, on behalf of Jesus. Jesus gently corrects them.

Did you catch that?

The disciples are criticizing someone for casting out demons…. immediately on the heels of their failure to cast out a demon.

How often do we find ourselves critiquing someone else’s marriage, ministry, work, or whatever, when what we actually feel is jealousy over their perceived success, popularity, happiness, or advancement?

If I can point to what is wrong with what they are doing, I can (at least I think I can) minimize my feeling of defeat — or envy — over their success.

“He may be casting out multiple demons when we failed at casting out one, but he is not technically ‘with us’ so we are still better than him, right Jesus?”

Note what John’s specific compliant was. He seemingly proudly declares to Jesus, “…we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.”

Us.

Not “you”.

More often than not, critique is based on that other person’s failure to operate the way we think is right…the way we think it should done. Our way. Be cautious you do not find yourself on the side of rebuking someone for doing precisely what Jesus has asked them and equipped them to do, simply because that is not the way you would do it.

This self-defense robs us of so much. Much more than we realize.

1. It robs me of contentment
   How can I possibly be happy with where I am when I am frustrated that I am not where you are—and I try to make myself feel better by justifying that you are not where you should be, rather than finding peace that I am exactly where I should be.
2. It robs me of conviction
   Maybe she received the promotion, or he has a seemingly healthy marriage because they are working way harder. Maybe your Father is allowing you to see this so you would be corrected and encouraged to put in the effort you know you should have been putting in all along. Maybe your Father would prefer you spend less time comparing yourself to others and follow faithfully in the path that He has set for you. Just maybe.
3. It robs me of celebration (technically the alliteration still works because it is a C…even though it is a soft one…)
   How can I possibly celebrate with you if I am seething with critique? How can I rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15) if my heart is so clouded by jealousy? When we see someone else having success in family, work, or especially ministry, we should rejoice with them! Celebrate with them, as I would want someone to celebrate with me in my minor victories.

Start with joy, thanking God for blessing that situation, then ask yourself, “what can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? What might my Father be teaching me in this?” Lastly, practice the art of thanking God for what He IS doing in you, rather than complaining about what He is not.

While the disciples bicker about which one of them is the most awesome (ironic on the heels of a very humiliating and very public failure) Jesus reminds them, “if anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.”

Let’s celebrate each other’s victories, learn from the correction & conviction they may provide, and find contentment in the path our Father has us on, so that we could cheerfully say:

“So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’” Luke 17:10

— Robbie Halleen

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:4–9

Note the emphasis on diligence, all areas of daily life, remembering and passing on the experience of God’s faithfulness and His desire for our good.

Likewise, in Psalm 78:2-7 the psalmist conveys the need to pass on the testimonies of God’s greatness that were passed on to their generation, to tell the coming generation. Emphasis on knowing and experiencing God, “so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God but keep His commandments….”

Ephesians 6:4 urges, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This is all-of-life instruction.

WOW! The list could certainly go on! You see God’s Word is not silent on our need to disciple our kids. We can’t settle for behavior modification, though it’s so tempting! It’s easier and more measurable on the outside and may provide temporary relief. But then we model a salvation-by-works surface-level façade, not a living relationship with our awesome God.

How might that look in our lives?

Modeling: We all know our kids won’t buy into the joy of walking with Jesus if we don’t model it…or worse yet, if we make it seem like a dreaded or tolerated chore. Stop and think through what your kids SEE of your faith journey (things like time in the Word and prayer, priorities, responses to others) and prayerfully ask God’s guidance in seeing blind spots that you need to address or changes that need to be made. Commit it to prayer and share the journey. Notice God’s fingerprints on everyday things and share them OUT LOUD.

• Share your own faith story (Deut. 6:20-25).
• Is discipline and instruction gospel-infused or behavior modification centered?

Environment: Is your home peaceful?

What about a focused family devotional time?

Family Worship: Read, Pray, Sing

Read Scripture: read through books of the Bible together—age appropriate and in short chunks. Younger kids will do better with narrative passages. Read it with emotion!!!!

Pray: I like the suggestion in Family Worship to at least pray about one thing you just read in the Scripture (however the Word prompts you in thanksgiving, praise, repentance, intercession, even asking the Spirit for clarification). Beyond that, themes may be helpful: praise only night; missionary night; classmates or teammates; the ministry you serve in at church; unsaved family members…the list goes on. Keep it short.

Sing: Tools like songbooks or printed lyrics are helpful. Find artists that focus on putting Scripture to music so that you can memorize verses while you sing together. Perhaps your jam will be just to listen to a hymn or sing along with a beautiful worship song or dance to a praise tune as you close your family devo time. Be creative!

Overall, keep it simple: how many of you feel overwhelmed? Don’t let the enemy convince you that you can’t do this! What God calls us to do, He equips us for. Be brief. Be consistent, not legalistic. Expect failure—it won’t always be easy or welcomed, but it will be worth it!

DON’T FORGET TO MARK MILESTONES, finding ways to memorialize life-changing events.

For example, look at what Exodus 12:14; 24-27; 13:8-10 includes in the instructions regarding Passover and Unleavened Bread:

• A tangible memorial (symbolic meal; blood on the doorposts; dressed for travel; eat in a hurry)
• Personal testimony
• Instruction (what God directed and what He revealed about Himself)
• Consistently remembered and celebrated.

What a memorable, all-senses-included way to distinguish such significant events in a way that can be passed on for generations!

— Donna Leupp

Looking at Jesus’ example and teaching, it’s clear that prayer is relational connection with the living God. God is not a theoretical or philosophical concept or a mere power like electricity that we need to tap into somehow. Our prayer life involves real and tangible connection with God, who is personal. We come to God to interact with him, personally and honestly, trusting that nothing we say will surprise God or be off-putting to Him. He made us. He knows us.

Prayer involves both outward and inward dimensions. Outwardly, prayer is one of the ways God has ordained for us to contribute to His work of redemption in the world. C.S. Lewis pointed out that in addition to our physical work, prayer is a foundational, powerful way that we join God in overcoming evil with good. Prayer is much more powerful than our physical work because it involves God’s power brought to bear upon our world, so God, in his loving kindness, sifts through our prayers because of the magnitude of what could be accomplished through them. Our physical work, on the other hand, has built-in limits to the effects it could have on the world.

The inward dimension of prayer involves formation. God made us dynamic beings who are capable of change and transformation through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Prayer, being interaction and time with God, has the potential to change us. As we spend time with Jesus in prayer, He changes us, He transforms us more and more into His image.

There are many prayer practices we could engage in, and I would encourage you to explore and experiment with a variety of ways of praying. I’d suggest beginning with The Lord’s Prayer, as found in Matthew 6 and Luke 11. This prayer was the response Jesus gave to his disciples saying, “Lord teach us how to pray.” Of all the things he could have said to them, this is what he chose to say:

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your Name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power,
and the glory are yours,
now and forever.
Amen.

A regular habit of praying this prayer will keep us focused on the main plot and purposes of Jesus rather than side projects and alternative agendas. These are his priorities for his apprentices. To pray this prayer, begin by simply praying it, as it’s written. As you pray, work at slowing down your pace and then pausing briefly after each phrase. “Our…Father…in…heaven. (pause)” Slowing down may help you to really think and feel what you’re praying. You may also find that the silence that slowing down creates enables you to experience the nearness and presence of God in new ways.

A second way of praying The Lord’s prayer is to pray it a phrase at a time and expand each phrase with your own thoughts. Doing this allows you to think about the meaning of each phrase and apply it to your specific circumstances. It’s meditative in that you mine the words for meaning and application. As you do this, you’re essentially saying, “Jesus, you set the topic, and I’ll dwell on it in prayer.” After you’ve exhausted a phrase, you move on to the next one. For example, when dwelling on the first phrase, “Our Father in Heaven,” the following topics come to my mind: our adoption in Christ, God’s constant and meticulous care for our ever need, His protection, His love, and His nearness. Each one of those ideas could be expanded upon through prayers of thankfulness and petition.

— Jeff Clochesy